Okay, I want to branch out a bit with today’s reading. So the question that I’m asking the tarot today is, “What does my soul need right now?” Let’s see what we get!
Alright… here we go. My soul needs… nine swords. Just kidding. But the nine of swords is the card I drew… so here are my initial thoughts. The background is black, which feels a bit… ominous? The nine swords appear to be hung on the wall, or floating above the head of the person that’s in the bed. Which is like… a sword hanging over our head? Which honestly is kind of on the nose. So often, I feel like a sword is hanging over my head and I’m just waiting for it to fall, like I’m just waiting for something bad to happen. Which like, is not a fun way to liveeee?
And then, there’s the person who is sitting up in what looks like a bed and they are holding their head in their hands. Almost like they’ve woken up from a bad dream? And they’re trying to regroup a bit? They’re wearing what seems to me a white night down? And their lower half is covered in a quilt. The quilt is patch worked with roses, and also what appear to be star signs? Like I see the signs for Gemini, but I also see a moon, and maybe like the gender symbol for men? So I’m not sure if the roses are meant to symbolize romantic love?
Also of note is the bed frame, which looks to have something carved in the frame. It looks like someone in a fallen or seated position, which another person advancing on them… As a whole, the card feels… sullen, marose, glum. But I think also there’s meaning in the person having woken up from the bad dream. Like, they’re no longer in it, which means they’re awake, and they can now move on? Also, I believe the suit of cards is typically related to the mind or intellect?
What does it mean?
In reading more about the suit, swords are usually associated with action, change, force, power, oppression, ambition, courage, and conflict. The action can be destructive and/or constructive. The negative aspects of swords include anger, guild, harsh judgement, a lack of compassion, and verbal/mental abuse. When they’re seen in a reading, it can relate to a person with an Aquarius, Libra, or Gemini star sign because the suit often represents the astrological air signs (which are people who are intelligent, thoughtful, rational, logical, and excellent communicators). They are rational people who like to experience the world by understanding and analyzing what is occurring around them. On the flip side though, sword people can be ruthless, domineering, confrontational and rigid.
In terms of the nine of swords, in the upright position, it can mean anxiety, worry, fear, depression, nightmares (so like kind of exactly what I thought aboveeee, cool.) The card shows a woman sitting up in her bed with her head in her hands. She appears to have jolted awake from a terrible nightmare that has left her disturbed, scared, and anxious. Nine swords hang on the dark wall behind her, representing the negative thoughts that weight heavily on her mind. The base of the woman’s bed features a carving of one person defeating another, and roses and the outlines of astrological symbols adorn the quilt wrapped around her. But it’s interesting that there was no mention of the roses?
The card suggests that dark thoughts and disturbing feelings are weighing you down (and keeping you up at night). You are worrying excessively about a situation, and you negative thoughts are getting the better of you, leaving you stressed and anxious. The more you associate with your fears, the more they will rule your life. As you obsess over what’s not working, the more anxious you become and the more you will worry. It becomes a negative cycle where one awful thought leads to another, and another, and another until they overwhelm you. Just as the nine of swords are stacked upon each other on the wall, so too are your negative thoughts.
Be careful because the fear and worry in the nine of swords can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. As you obsess over what may go wrong, you are more likely to manifest your worst-case scenario because you are inadvertently acting in ways that support your negative thoughts. For example, you may worry that your partner will cheat on you, event though you’ve found NO signs of infidelity. The more you stress about this potential outcome, the more your anxiety pushes away your partner, until one day, they feel so disconnected from you that they start a new relationship with someone else. When you are repeating negative thoughts in your mind, you run the risk of manifesting them in your life. So, the Nine of Swords asks you to break the cycle. Every time a negative emotion comes up, replace it with a positive one instead (CBT?!).
The Nine of Swords reminds you that much of the fear and worry you are experiencing is in your head and not necessarily an accurate reflection of what is happening around you. You may make things worse for yourself by over-thinking or obsessing over the worst-case scenarios (oh, hello catastrophizing!). It is time to examine your situation from a new perspective. Instead of looking for evidence of what is going wrong, put your attention on what is going right. Take a deep breath and realize that life is not as dreadful as it seems and that the more you worry, the more harm you are doing to yourself.
The Nine of Swords often crops up when worry, despair, and anxiety are quite literally keeping you up at night. You may not be sleeping well, or you are experiencing frequent nightmares. Your constant thoughts are preventing you from resting.
When the Nine of Swords appears in a reading, it is time to reach out for help. You don’t need to do this alone — enlist the support of others to help you get through this dark period in your life. Others will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel and lead you towards a solution of sense of peace despite your troubles. You are struggling to look at your situation clearly, as you are plagued by negative thoughts, so having an objective, third-party perspective will help you find your way out.
Thoughts
So the cards didn’t have to call me out like this today… I mean WOW. I was literally JUST talking to me sister AND my therapist the other day about all of the negative thoughts I’ve been having lately. The world truly feels a bit like its on fire all around us… like the image of the dog sitting in the room that’s on fire and he’s just like, “this is fine.” Like that’s what it feels like lately. With everything happening in Ukraine and Israel. Even the things that are happening in our own country right now. It’s depressing and overwhelming in a way that makes me feel to completely helpless. I’ve been having the most violent nightmares lately too. So this card feels a little TOO on the nose… especially the part about “Your constant thoughts are presenting your from resting.”
Like I mentioned, I was talking with my sister and my therapist about these feelings. I’m a HUGE catastrophizer, like probably one of the best in the biz. And if you don’t know what that means, here!
I will go from zero to sixty QUICK. Like it’s an art form. I talk to my therapist a lot about this. And one of the exercises that she’s started recommending is looking at the evidence that I have to support my thoughts. So for instance, my boss scheduled a meeting, this means he’s going to fire me, I’m not going to be able to get hired, we’re going to lose the house, we’ll end up living in the airport terminal. I have NO evidence to support this. I’ve never been pulled into a bad meeting with any boss. I work hard at work. I’ve never had a negative performance review. And even if I did lose my job, I would get unemployment while I work on finding a job. And I WOULD find a job. I’m smart, outgoing, kind, and a great worker. The only thing catastrophizing does is make me obsess over what may go wrong and that affects my mood and the way I act, leading to the possibility that I manifest those thoughts, which I obviously DON’T want.
Like the Nine of Swords indicates (and my therapist, lol), my soul needs me to break this cycle. I need to stop focusing on what could go wrong, and instead spend my time, energy, and effort focusing on what’s going right. And there’s A LOT of that. I have a job I really enjoy, a partner that I love and that loves me, I have two wonderful healthy kids, we have a roof over our heads. I have SO much that has gone and/or is going right. I thank the universe, the goddess, and the god for all of the abundance in my life. I am truly blessed.